Friday, January 26, 2007

i'm back, bitches


i haven't talked about my trip yet to anyone but one coworker/friend, and i've come to the conclusion that it was kind of an awful time.

LOWLIGHTS:

* i was stung by a scorpion on my ankle. Upon asking if it was poisonous, i hear the response: "We'll see if you wake up tomorrow." Thanks, jackass.

*The only bank in/near town burned down. we had no money. I rented a motorcycle to go to the next town over to get moolah, and my bank card wouldn't work. how the hell am i gonna pay for this motorcycle??? ahhh thank god for the kindness of strangers.

*after having no money for a couple of days, we decide we must bite the bullet... "mooooooooooo-ommmmyyyyyyy i neeeed moneyyyyyy" nothin' like a 30yr old who asks mom for money.

*i went three days without eating at one point.

*realizing that there were indeed sharks, tarantulas, scorpions, alligators, and poisonous snakes in my sheltered little town of santa teresa....realizing this the hard way....


ok. maybe it wasn't an awful time. i'm sure that after a couple of retellings, these stories will become legendary, given my propensity for exaggeration and the
grandiose and epic.

next year, thailand. hookers n' blow. bitches better be there feeding me peeled grapes and fanning me with palm fronds. i deserve it after this trip.

but hey. the smokes and beer were cheap, and i surfed every day. definite highlights.

also, do not travel for an extended amount of time with a significant other....cautionary tales available if you so desire.


also, there were fucking puppies everywhere.....